Excellent! Very insightful. I agree with so many of your points. I think sometimes people, like your pop pop, focus their energy on building up their physical “outside” self because a) as you say, the internal world is too scary because they don’t believe they’ll find anything good there, and b) they at least get some positive feedback from being physically strong and successful in athletics or fighting or whatever. I’ve noticed that often people work on either their inner life or their outer life, maybe because they feel that is the part they have the ability to be strong in.
I’m so glad you’re having (and sharing) this conversation. I think it’s such an important one to have. And I agree that courage—and encouragement—could go a long way toward fixing this broken world.
I appreciate how you’ve woven in the stories about your family here. And you’re absolutely right that too many people live in fear. Without the courage of their convictions. Unable (or unwilling) to simply say “I’m sorry” or “I love you”. Thanks for writing this one, Tom :)
Tom, this is such a beautiful letter! Courage is something I struggle with too, but I am aware of it and have made a decision to face my fears more and more. I can’t say it’s easy - it’s absolutely not. But a cancer diagnosis has also made me rethink how I live my life, and how I want to look back on it. Speaking up and speaking out are for me some of the hardest things to do, but the more I confront those feelings of resistance and do it anyway, the easier it gets. And the internal rewards make it worth the discomfort. It is so important. I think your grandpa found peace when he let go of his resistance on his deathbed and showed you the love he had been afraid to show all his life.
For many people, the simple act of saying thank you is difficult, the act of loving a high insurmountable mountain. It is fear that tells the person that saying I Iove you and acting with love will not be accepted.
The words and actions will be rejected, just as it was when that hurt (and now angry) person was as a little kid. Heartbreaking. Memories hold.
Sure, it is true that upbringing can also be an obstacle, but one has a choice not to remain a victim. As an adult, one has to work hard and with courage and conviction to not only undo the harm inflicted when a child, but also form new ways of thinking and acting. Yes, this will take years, since healing can't happen overnight.
This letter really is wonderful. I am so hard on myself even now, but I feel like if I could accept my weaknesses, I’d give myself more of a break. I’m going to at least try it. Thank you for getting so honest with us.
Surrendering to love does take courage. You have to relinquish some status and power. You have to open yourself up and be vulnerable. If you haven't seen and experienced that yourself as a child then it must be much harder to do. Just surviving is probably hard enough. Thank you for sharing some of your family's experience.
This is the first I have read, your writing! Thoroughly enjoyed it. Sidenote, you were the second person to mention the show the bear! We own a small restaurant and definitely going to have to put this on my watchlist. Thank you for your insight on courage. I too dream of being part of seeing our broken world healed! It could happen❤️
Excellent! Very insightful. I agree with so many of your points. I think sometimes people, like your pop pop, focus their energy on building up their physical “outside” self because a) as you say, the internal world is too scary because they don’t believe they’ll find anything good there, and b) they at least get some positive feedback from being physically strong and successful in athletics or fighting or whatever. I’ve noticed that often people work on either their inner life or their outer life, maybe because they feel that is the part they have the ability to be strong in.
I’m so glad you’re having (and sharing) this conversation. I think it’s such an important one to have. And I agree that courage—and encouragement—could go a long way toward fixing this broken world.
I appreciate how you’ve woven in the stories about your family here. And you’re absolutely right that too many people live in fear. Without the courage of their convictions. Unable (or unwilling) to simply say “I’m sorry” or “I love you”. Thanks for writing this one, Tom :)
Tom, this is such a beautiful letter! Courage is something I struggle with too, but I am aware of it and have made a decision to face my fears more and more. I can’t say it’s easy - it’s absolutely not. But a cancer diagnosis has also made me rethink how I live my life, and how I want to look back on it. Speaking up and speaking out are for me some of the hardest things to do, but the more I confront those feelings of resistance and do it anyway, the easier it gets. And the internal rewards make it worth the discomfort. It is so important. I think your grandpa found peace when he let go of his resistance on his deathbed and showed you the love he had been afraid to show all his life.
For many people, the simple act of saying thank you is difficult, the act of loving a high insurmountable mountain. It is fear that tells the person that saying I Iove you and acting with love will not be accepted.
The words and actions will be rejected, just as it was when that hurt (and now angry) person was as a little kid. Heartbreaking. Memories hold.
Sure, it is true that upbringing can also be an obstacle, but one has a choice not to remain a victim. As an adult, one has to work hard and with courage and conviction to not only undo the harm inflicted when a child, but also form new ways of thinking and acting. Yes, this will take years, since healing can't happen overnight.
This letter really is wonderful. I am so hard on myself even now, but I feel like if I could accept my weaknesses, I’d give myself more of a break. I’m going to at least try it. Thank you for getting so honest with us.
Surrendering to love does take courage. You have to relinquish some status and power. You have to open yourself up and be vulnerable. If you haven't seen and experienced that yourself as a child then it must be much harder to do. Just surviving is probably hard enough. Thank you for sharing some of your family's experience.
This is the first I have read, your writing! Thoroughly enjoyed it. Sidenote, you were the second person to mention the show the bear! We own a small restaurant and definitely going to have to put this on my watchlist. Thank you for your insight on courage. I too dream of being part of seeing our broken world healed! It could happen❤️
Deep yet very honest. We can't be afraid of love, it indeed makes a world of difference. Thank you Tom!
Wow, I felt the emotion go through my body and cried a little bit. Thanks for this amazing piece of writing ❤️.
Nice, I agree with your points. Anyway, your writings are damn awesome.